Zedflagcunstik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, stupid cat.

Zedflagcunstik created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zedflagcunstik, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zedflagcunstik, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Zedflagcunstik's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Zedflagcunstik's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry doves.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.