Timditfet is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, dishonourable elephant.

Timditfet created viruses six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timditfet, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Timditfet, he will have a low opinion of you.

Timditfet's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Timditfet's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Timditfet.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near hamsters while wearing blue rings and balancing eight silicon spheres on your chest.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Timditfet.