Davjipfut is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, narcissistic hydra.

Davjipfut created the Black Eye Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Davjipfut, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Davjipfut, she will turn you into a puffin.

Davjipfut's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Davjipfut's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry mites.

2. Never talk about special relativity near hamsters while wearing pink ear rings and balancing nine carbon spheres on your face.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not dye your hair black.

5. Never look in ponds.