Sisjonzag is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, narcissistic newt.

Sisjonzag created the Large Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sisjonzag, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sisjonzag, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sisjonzag's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Sisjonzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics near pigs while wearing purple rings and balancing four aluminium spheres on your face.