Goflengeb is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, pitiless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Goflengeb created the planet Mars eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Goflengeb, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Goflengeb, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Goflengeb's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Goflengeb's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Hide if nine rats approach from the west.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. You must love Goflengeb.

5. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.