Gighamgeb is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, ruthless jaguar.

Gighamgeb created vertebrates eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gighamgeb, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gighamgeb, it will make you grow a tail.

Gighamgeb's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Gighamgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat tomatoes.

2. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Gighamgeb in the centre of the settlement.

3. Gighamgeb loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not chant in public.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.