Monrenhim is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, all-knowing gorilla.

Monrenhim created time and space five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monrenhim, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Monrenhim, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Monrenhim's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Monrenhim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Erect six copper sculptures of Monrenhim on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near great tits while wearing black ear rings and balancing four silver spheres on your hands.

5. Never feed grapes to seals while wearing mauve shorts.