Witmotfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a small, omniscient crane.

Witmotfoss created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witmotfoss, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Witmotfoss, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Witmotfoss' most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Witmotfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not dye your hair black.