Ditstafgadlip is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, irritating pigeon.

Ditstafgadlip created the world two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditstafgadlip, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ditstafgadlip, he will turn you into a puffin.

Ditstafgadlip's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Ditstafgadlip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick mice.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

4. Always help horses in need.

5. Always help otters.