Quamgomfid is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, awe-inspiring unicorn.

Quamgomfid created everything that exists twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quamgomfid, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quamgomfid, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Quamgomfid's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Quamgomfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not speak about lemons.

5. Feed all hungry monkeys.