Hogcarjop is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, boastful turtle.

Hogcarjop created Asia eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hogcarjop, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hogcarjop, she will turn you into a slug.

Hogcarjop's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Hogcarjop's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.