Bepzimquat is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, compassionate goose.

Bepzimquat created the Small Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Bepzimquat, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bepzimquat, it will make you grow a tail.

Bepzimquat's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Bepzimquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Never mention great tits.

3. Seals are not to be trusted.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never sit in the presence of gulls.