Tag is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, self-confident jellyfish.

Tag created energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tag, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tag, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Tag's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Tag's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not kill monkeys.

3. Never talk about archaea.

4. Run away from mauve swans, for they are unholy.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.