Xenzigyarp Catdadbum is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, narcissistic goblin.

Xenzigyarp Catdadbum created an electron four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenzigyarp Catdadbum, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Xenzigyarp Catdadbum, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Xenzigyarp Catdadbum's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Xenzigyarp Catdadbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gulls.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always treat porpoises with great respect.