Quimhandut is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, confident mole.

Quimhandut created a down quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Quimhandut, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quimhandut, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Quimhandut's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Quimhandut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Worship no other gods but Quimhandut.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Erect nine silver sculptures of Quimhandut on top of important buildings.

5. Never think about stars.