Villakwipvedarn is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, unthinking dolphin.

Villakwipvedarn created the Sombrero Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Villakwipvedarn, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Villakwipvedarn, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Villakwipvedarn's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Villakwipvedarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four horses in a large pit.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Villakwipvedarn loves bats, so they must be honoured.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.