Kambemlam Janpangbud is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, annoying hedgehog.

Kambemlam Janpangbud created the world two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kambemlam Janpangbud, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kambemlam Janpangbud, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Kambemlam Janpangbud's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Kambemlam Janpangbud's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never think about archaea.