Gepflamcutmil is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, passionate human.

Gepflamcutmil created oxygen two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepflamcutmil, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gepflamcutmil, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gepflamcutmil's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Gepflamcutmil's Holy Commandments

1. Gepflamcutmil loves tapirs, so they must be respected.

2. Never hurt foxes.

3. Never go into turquoise rooms.

4. Never feed corn to monkeys while wearing corsets.

5. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.