Tagtarplik is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, pitiless dingo.

Tagtarplik created the Black Eye Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Tagtarplik, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tagtarplik, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tagtarplik's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Tagtarplik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Tagtarplik loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

3. Never talk about turtles.

4. Never mention sharks.

5. Always obey Tagtarplik's priests.