Nartcussdut is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, boastful rhinoceros.

Nartcussdut created Europe six million years ago.

If you believe in Nartcussdut, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nartcussdut, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Nartcussdut's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Nartcussdut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy.

2. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

4. Do not sprint in public.

5. Run away from brown nematodes, for they are unholy.