Sandfitsaf is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, narcissistic yak.

Sandfitsaf created light eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sandfitsaf, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sandfitsaf, he will turn you into a puffin.

Sandfitsaf's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Sandfitsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never skip near moths.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sandfitsaf.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Sandfitsaf on top of all buildings.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.