Witxuckflanhit is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ill-tempered aardvark.

Witxuckflanhit created a charm quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Witxuckflanhit, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Witxuckflanhit, he will destroy your home planet.

Witxuckflanhit's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Witxuckflanhit's Holy Commandments

1. Witxuckflanhit loves otters, so they must be respected.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not hurt gulls.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.