Libarf is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, unthoughtful seal.

Libarf created life three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Libarf, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Libarf, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Libarf's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Libarf's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never feed lots of coconuts to doves while wearing pink hats.

3. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

4. Do not kill swans.

5. Never feed limes to sheep while wearing shoes.