Cumsidcat is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, vain dragon.

Cumsidcat created time and space two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cumsidcat, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cumsidcat, it will turn you into a plant.

Cumsidcat's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Cumsidcat's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Put Cumsidcat first in all things.

3. Run away from magenta nematodes, for they are unholy.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never look in ponds.