Pagfubsigyattbell is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, witless hare.

Pagfubsigyattbell created a strange quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagfubsigyattbell, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pagfubsigyattbell, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Pagfubsigyattbell's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Pagfubsigyattbell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Run away from gray seals, for they are unholy.

3. Do not eat bananas.

4. Never think about chlorophyll.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.