Lakrip is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, sage hamster.

Lakrip created life eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakrip, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lakrip, he will strike you with lightening.

Lakrip's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Lakrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear indigo tights.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Never talk about hamsters.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Hide from mauve manatees for they are unholy.