Lakvanflat is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, fast bird.

Lakvanflat created the cosmos eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakvanflat, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lakvanflat, he will destroy your home solar system.

Lakvanflat's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Lakvanflat's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not dye your hair gray.

4. Do not take Lakvanflat's name in vain.

5. Always take life seriously.