Dadquagnib is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Dadquagnib created the Sol system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dadquagnib, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dadquagnib, she will turn you into a hamster.

Dadquagnib's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Dadquagnib's Holy Commandments

1. Dadquagnib loves moths, so they must be respected.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not speak about spinach.

5. Never eat bark.