Somflapbod is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, compassionate weasel.

Somflapbod created the planet Saturn three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somflapbod, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Somflapbod, it will throw large rocks at you.

Somflapbod's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Somflapbod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

2. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not chop down trees.