Bassteensin is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, conceited hare.

Bassteensin created water three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassteensin, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bassteensin, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bassteensin's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Bassteensin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

2. You must pray to Bassteensin nine times a day.

3. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Bassteensin in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never talk about snails.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.