Vonkfonveen is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, fast zebra.

Vonkfonveen created the cosmos two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkfonveen, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonkfonveen, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Vonkfonveen's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Vonkfonveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

2. Never talk about bats.

3. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not take Vonkfonveen's name in vain.