Yarttunnurlgep is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, resourceful pig.

Yarttunnurlgep created bats six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarttunnurlgep, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yarttunnurlgep, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Yarttunnurlgep's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Yarttunnurlgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near great tits.

2. Do not keep eight porpoises in a large pit.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Run away from gray tapirs, for they are unholy.

5. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.