Villadfit is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, all-powerful tortoise.

Villadfit created dark energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Villadfit, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Villadfit, it will turn you into a rock.

Villadfit's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Villadfit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt frogs.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

4. Do not keep five gulls in a large pit.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.