Kimgupfig is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, passionate jaguar.

Kimgupfig created the Sol system two million years ago.

If you believe in Kimgupfig, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kimgupfig, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Kimgupfig's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Kimgupfig's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Hide from purple gulls for they are unholy.

5. Never go into gray rooms.