Doncatflattan is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, dishonest guinea pig.

Doncatflattan created silver nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Doncatflattan, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Doncatflattan, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Doncatflattan's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Doncatflattan's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six mice approach from the north.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near otters while wearing red tights and balancing eight lead spheres on your feet.

3. Worship no other gods but Doncatflattan.

4. Always treat doves with great respect.

5. Never play with disobedient children.