Gonbatyatt is a god.

It takes the form of a large, thoughtless swallow.

Gonbatyatt created the planet Earth six million years ago.

If you believe in Gonbatyatt, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gonbatyatt, it will come to you in dreams.

Gonbatyatt's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Gonbatyatt's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat peas.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not take Gonbatyatt's name in vain.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. You must love Gonbatyatt.