Hotgombaf is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, narcissistic duck.

Hotgombaf created a charm quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hotgombaf, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hotgombaf, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Hotgombaf's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Hotgombaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Never feed lots of cherries to horses while wearing turquoise stockings.

3. Hide if seven porpoises approach from the west.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

5. Worship no other gods but Hotgombaf.