Komtomliktapfethom is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, almighty squirrel.

Komtomliktapfethom created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Komtomliktapfethom, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Komtomliktapfethom, she will curse you with boils.

Komtomliktapfethom's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Komtomliktapfethom's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Put Komtomliktapfethom first in all things.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near ducks while wearing yellow shorts and balancing eight gold spheres on your legs.

4. Worship no other gods but Komtomliktapfethom.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.