Laphatweg is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, self-assured lizard.

Laphatweg created the Tadpole Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Laphatweg, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Laphatweg, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Laphatweg's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Laphatweg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Never wear corsets.