Lattarpjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a large, unthoughtful clam.

Lattarpjarn created silver six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lattarpjarn, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Lattarpjarn, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Lattarpjarn's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Lattarpjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

4. Never hop in the presence of hamsters.

5. Never wear red scarves.