Bisswanlarn is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, fussy grasshopper.

Bisswanlarn created light six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bisswanlarn, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bisswanlarn, it will not care at all.

Bisswanlarn's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Bisswanlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Bisswanlarn in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

5. Always help ducks in need.