Cusswegfag is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, thoughtless grasshopper.

Cusswegfag created the planet Jupiter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cusswegfag, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cusswegfag, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Cusswegfag's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Cusswegfag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

2. Cusswegfag loves voles, so they must be honoured.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Retreat if six tapirs approach from the west.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.