Vonkfonyog is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, bad-tempered seal.

Vonkfonyog created the planet Venus three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkfonyog, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vonkfonyog, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Vonkfonyog's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Vonkfonyog's Holy Commandments

1. Ducks are not to be trusted.

2. Never wear dresses.

3. Do not dye your hair gray.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never hurt shrews.