Batbotfenflam is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, cheerful faun.

Batbotfenflam created humankind three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batbotfenflam, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Batbotfenflam, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Batbotfenflam's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Batbotfenflam's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet shrews, for they are unholy.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Batbotfenflam on top of all buildings.

3. You must never eat lemons.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Batbotfenflam.