Mitlan is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-powerful monkey.

Mitlan created the planet Mars nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Mitlan, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Mitlan, it will turn you into a worm.

Mitlan's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Mitlan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not wear white clothing.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Mitlan in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never run near goats.