Gadpigfeb is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, grumpy seal.

Gadpigfeb created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadpigfeb, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gadpigfeb, it will turn you into a tree.

Gadpigfeb's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Gadpigfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Always help badgers in need.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics.

3. You must pray to Gadpigfeb nine times a day.

4. Never sing in the presence of squirrels.

5. Never think ill of sick nematodes.