Nelnartgep is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, selfish skunk.

Nelnartgep created matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelnartgep, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nelnartgep, she will strike you with lightening.

Nelnartgep's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Nelnartgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet stockings.

2. Never talk about pigs.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never feed gooseberries to hamsters while wearing red shoes.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nelnartgep.