Kenwig is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, confident narwhal.

Kenwig created the Tadpole Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Kenwig, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kenwig, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kenwig's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Kenwig's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Never jump near doves.

3. Never talk about optics.

4. Do not dye your hair yellow.

5. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.