Pomparktom is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, temperamental cat.

Pomparktom created an atom three billion years ago.

If you believe in Pomparktom, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pomparktom, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Pomparktom's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Pomparktom's Holy Commandments

1. Pomparktom loves swans, so they must be honoured.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always help sick shrews.