Pasbesttin is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, impressive scorpion.

Pasbesttin created vertebrates two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pasbesttin, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pasbesttin, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Pasbesttin's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Pasbesttin's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear orange dresses.

2. Never write about optics.

3. Do not keep nine pigs in a large pit.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.